Why Deidara Hates Winter
by hadesgirl015
Summary: Ever stick your tongue to a metal pole on a cold winter day. Well, Deidara learns the hard way to stay far away from metal poles when he gets stuck and left behind by Sasori, but who will find him and how will he get off the pole. Please read and review, love y'all. Pretty much a crack one shot.


Why Deidara Hates Winter

Deidara was never a fan of the cold. Iwagakure was never that cold, so he was just not use to it. The cold mostly had one purpose in Deidara's mind, to make snow. Snow was the only good thing about the cold. If everything around was white, his art seemed to be brighter. But there was no snow, it was just cold.

"Kami, Danna, why does it have to be so cold, un?" Deidara asked.

"Brat, stop complaining." Sasori said.

"Well you just don't know how cold it is, un! You are a puppet you don't feel anything." Deidara said.

Sasori didn't answer, hoping that it would shut the annoying, S-ranked criminal teenager up. It didn't work.

"How much farther is it, un?" Deidara asked.

"If you are so tired of walking, why not just ride that stupid bird you call art." Sasori asked.

"It is art, un! And I'm out of clay. Anyways, it's colder up in the air, un." Deidara said.

"Then stop complaining Brat." Sasori said. Sasori sped up.

"Danna, un." Deidara said. "Fine I'll catch up later, un." He stopped by a metal pole and leaned against it. He could feel the chill through his Akatsuki cloak and obviously his fish net shirt. After a few minutes he switched positions, to try to look sexy for a passing girl, by putting his hand up against the pole. The girl ignored him.

"Hm, fine, I got to be getting back to the base anyways, un." Deidara said. But he couldn't move. "Why can't I move, un!?" he was panicking slightly, it would be getting dark soon. Deidara stood there until nightfall. "Great, seems like I'm not sleeping."

Back at the Akatsuki base, Sasori has been there for about an hour, and had just finished giving his mission report to Pein.

"By, the way Sasori, where is Deidara?" Pein asked.

"He was tired so he took a break." Sasori said.

"Then why is he over an hour behind you?" Pein asked.

"I don't keep track of the brat." Sasori said.

"He's your partner." Pein said.

"Fine," Sasori sighed. As he was leaving he passed Itachi. Itachi was a pretty good tracker, well a pretty good anything. "Itachi,"

"What?" Itachi asked.

"I lost track of the brat. Help me look for him." Sasori said before heading out of the base, not giving Itachi time to protest. Getting Itachi to help would be a double bonus, he knew Deidara hated him.

Sasori and Itachi went their separate ways to cover more ground. Itachi made his way past a closed small tea shop with one person standing out in front of it. Why would someone just be standing right in front of a closed tea shop in this cold and this time of night? It was really dark, and Itachi's poor eyesight didn't help either. He approached the mysterious person, figuring if it was someone dangerous he, himself was about ten times as dangerous.

The person looked up at Itachi. "Uchiha, un." The name was full of spite, and Itachi recognized the voice, and now he could see the hairstyle as well. There was only one person who had that hair and said 'un.'

"Deidara." Itachi said. Deidara could practically hear him smirk.

"Of all the members to find me why did it have to be you, un?" Deidara asked.

"Why are you standing next to a pole at one in the morning?" Itachi asked, ignoring Deidara's question.

"Because this is a very nice pole, un." Deidara said, full of sarcasm.

Itachi made no response.

"I'm stuck, un." Deidara said.

"What do you mean stuck?" Itachi asked.

"I literally can't take my hand of if, un." Deidara said.

Itachi took notice to the pole and saw that it was a metal pole. He smirked. "Did no one ever tell you to not lick a cold metal pole?"

"Of course you idiot, un!" Deidara asked.

"I'm not the idiot who licked a frozen pole." Itachi said.

"I didn't lick it, I just sat my hand on it and….DAMN IT, UN!" Deidara said. "Mouth hands." He mumbled.

"Why don't you just blow it up?" Itachi asked.

"I ran out of clay on the mission, un." Deidara said, sounding defeated, and Itachi almost took pity on him, 'almost' being the key word.

Itachi started to walk away.

"HEY WAIT YOU SLIMY UCHIHA, UN!" Deidara screamed. "Tell me how to get off!"

Itachi turned back towards him. "The pole either needs to be heated up in some way or, you will just have to rip the tongue off." Itachi said, before turning around again.

"Wait." Deidara said. Itachi turned. "Could you…help….please." he choked out, hating himself to residing to asking Itachi the Uchiha he hated for help.

Itachi smirked. "Fire Style: Fire Ball Jutsu."

"Wait what, un!" Deidara screamed. Luckily for the teen stuck to the pole the fire ball was not aimed at him, but rather the pole directly above his hand. The fireball continued to heat the pole until Deidara's hand peeled off.

Itachi walked away, and Deidara ran to catch up.

"Speak of this to no one, un." Deidara said.

"Nope, people will be hearing of this for years to come." Itachi said with a smirk.

"Damn, un," Deidara said.

The two made it back to the base, meeting Sasori on the way.

"Where were you Deidara?" Pein asked when they arrived.

"Stuck to a pole." Itachi said.

Unfortunately for Deidara, all the members were listening in on the conversation and they laughed.

Deidara turned to leave the room, and was heard screaming down the hall way, "This is why I hate winter, un."


End file.
